Time

Wow, sometimes I can't believe that I've been back in Winnsboro for 6 months...its seems like just yesterday I was scrambling around trying to finish my last month of my senior year at Tech in the span of 3 days. I'm sitting here at the moment trying to wrap my brain around the fact that in the matter of months my whole world from the way I perceive myself to the way I conduct myself have changed all because of one person's decisions. I'm finding myself having to reconstruct a confidence that I've always had from the ground up and having to deal with the insecurities that come with that loss of confidence. I feel awkward and strange sometimes like the whole foundation of my life has been swept away. Not to get this confused with my foundation of faith in God but the foundation of which all my dreams and aspirations mirrored.

Kasey

Trying not to worry.

I'm seriously trying to rein in my worry right now, I worry about work, future, school, jobs, money, wedding, retarded fathers and more. I just can't seem to stop. Sometimes I feel like this huge wave of stress and worry is just going to swallow me up. The stress of not knowing what is going on or how things will work after the wedding is probably a main point for me. I'm so used to planning things out, knowing what is going to happen, where I will be and I don't know ANY of that! How is one supposed to function?! Right now it almost seems impossible, I'm getting tired of telling myself just take one day at a time because I want to know a plan of action. Patience as you can tell is not one of my virtues.

Samson

As you all know I am a sucker for animals, and I find myself yet again caring for another sick/abandoned creature! This time however, I find myself nursing a 8 to 9 week old Corgi puppy, who we have now named Samson. Samson was found at Ronnie's on Saturday barely alive from some still unknown sickness (we should know by this afternoon). Ronnie couldn't get him to eat, drink or move so I asked him if I could take him home with me knowing that at least I could give him a nice, comfortable place to die. Unable to just simply let him starve to death while in my charge I started making up a sweet and very sticky concoction of milk and honey in which with my help Samson slurped up. He was so weak that I had to hold his head up for him with my fingers under his chin so that he could lick at the milk instead of drowned in it. Saturday and Sunday both continued much the same with him slowly trying to gain strength back. Sunday afternoon we had some what of a break through, the little guy began walking around the room and actively looking for his milk bowl.

This morning; however. found Samson toddling about the room howling and barking his protest at being left alone. He is now at the vet this morning and we are hoping to get a positive prognosis. If all goes well he will be looking for a nice home after he has gained some weight and confidence.

If anyone out there is interested in our little fluff ball please let me know! (I will post pictures of him this afternoon) Matthew and I are unable to keep him due to the fact that we already have two Corgis and can't take on anymore animals.

Hopefully Yours,
Kasey

Wool Soakers

Many of you might be wondering what these are...I know I was when Kelly first mentioned them to me. Basically they are knitted diaper covers made out of 100% wool that allows them to soak up anything the diaper might not catch without feeling wet! So cool right?!

So anyways I've set out to make some for my sister, my first attempt didn't turn out quite the way I figured it would, meaning I totally didn't think about the fact that once I washed the soaker it would shrink. So now I have this adorable soaker that is literally the perfect size a baby doll. So I've now started my second one and am following a free pattern off the internet! The new one is going to be two colors this time instead of one and should be big enough that once felted it should be the perfect size for a real baby this time!

Here is a picture of my first attempt:

Wish me luck on the next one!!!

Love,

Kasey

Fall Feelings

Fall always has a way of making me feel happy, the colors, the weather and the family gatherings that are right around the corner. It makes me want to get in the kitchen and cook, bake and make hot chocolate. It makes me want to snuggle up on the couch with a good book and a fuzzy Corgi foot warmer.

Pumpkins are starting to make their appearance, light coats and shawls adorn peoples' shoulders on the first cool days, and the first leaves are starting to fade to oranges, reds, yellows, and browns. What was once lush and green will soon turn the world into a rich, and warm colored place contrasting the cool in the air.

Fall, its the wonderful season of change.

Trying to Cope

5 months, more than that actually since I found out the hard truth that my dad has lost himself. Truly, in the sense that he doesn't know who, what, or why he is doing what he is doing. I mean lets be honest, we all know who, but what no one, not even himself can figure out is to what purpose he is doing this and why?! As I try to wrap my brain around all these questions that are bouncing around in my head I can't help but feel helpless. I have no power, no influence, and no say in what he does with his life and how he keeps crushing my family with his selfishness. Where is the end in all this pain? Does it go away, do we just continue to live our lives with this huge gaping whole he left in the middle of our family? Does time really heal something that should never have happened in the first place?

Every day, every hour, every minute, down to every second that he misses a little more of myself feels damaged, confused, and burning with, hate?, pain?, or loss? I honestly can't say, but my heart feels on fire, sometimes I feel like I'm going to burn from the inside out. There are times that even the blood running through my veins feels on fire and the confusion is almost crippling.

I see my family hurting, tears burning their cheeks and I feel helpless standing there knowing that there is nothing I can say or do to make the pain go away. I want so badly to make this go away for them, I want so badly to be able to change this.

I'm writing this not to hurt anyone or to worry them, I'm writing this to try to come to terms with what I'm feeling inside. I'm writing this because I can't do anything else. I'm writing this not as me giving up or not trusting in God but as an outlet for the pain and confusion I'm feeling right now.

Kasey

Working on a Saturday

About once a month I am drug out of my warm, cozy bed to come up to the bank to work the hideously early shift on Saturdays! There are no words that can make this acceptable when your sitting on the couch Friday night basking in the end of the week glow when "WHAM" you're hit with the cold fact that your week is not yet over! Even worse is that you realize too late that you've already stayed awake later thinking you would get to sleep in the next morning.

Ok, ok so it's not that bad....I'm being just a little whiny. A positive thing is that I do get paid for an extra day! :) (Money=smile)

Well I guess I should have first apologize for not having blogged in awhile and won't use the excuse of being busy because honestly it's more like being too lazy to take the time and blog.

I guess I should do a little catching up...as most of you know Matthew and I are still living in separate towns for the next year until the wedding but so far I've been lucky enough to at least get to see him once a month. He is home right now after taking summer courses and leaves on the 25th of August for Fall semester. :(

Wedding planning at the moment has kind of come to a halt due to the fact that the settlement has not been made. However we are trying to do as much as we can.

Working at the bank has been good and I'm thoroughly enjoying my time there, because of my position I don't have to stay in one place too long making the job more interesting. I'm even getting to work with my future mother-in-law! :D

What some of you might not know is that this Christmas I will be applying not to PTA school but to Nursing school. I am really excited and actually looking forward to school. :) Wish me luck in the application process and prayers would much appreciated!

Love,
Kasey

More Wedding...

OK guys sorry I know this is getting some what repetitive but I have more news on wedding planning.

Matthew and I visited Leslie today or known by us as "the Cake Lady." We have the basic designs and prices somewhat set which I was excited to find out that is less than we had budgeted! Significantly!

Also I have done a lot of browsing online for bridesmaid dresses and have quite a few picked out to try on and look at. I'm starting to really get excited about all the wedding planning despite the worry about money! So bridesmaids beware..lol you guys maybe trying on a couple of different dresses!

That's it for now!

Love,
Kasey

Hair or No Hair...

That is definitely the question I keep asking myself when I start thinking about all the money and time it takes to put a wedding together. Despite having a couple of the big things set, I've been trying to keep myself from having a panic attack when I think about Mom, Matthew, Linda and I trying to pay for this wedding. I keep having to remind myself that already we have saved a HUGE amount in not having to pay for the reception, rehearsal and ceremony sites! (whew!)

ALSO...we are saving by using tables from Matthew's church and my church (for free!) The big prices are photography which we already have booked, flowers and decorations, wedding gifts, music (which we have decided against the string quartet), Dress and Jewelry and food for both rehearsal and reception. I know I'm probably forgetting about something else...but that's shows you how fried my wires are right now! OH DUH the cakes! How could I forget those whopping price tags!

Just an update for those of you who care...Matthew comes in this Saturday and we have an appointment with the cake lady on Wednesday. (We're taste testing and hopefully designing) Then on Thursday we are hoping to get an appointment with a florist in Quitman. (keep your fingers crossed!)

So that is my life at this point not leaving out the fact that we now are the proud owners of 4 precious kittens! (no pictures yet...have to download them!)

Love,
Kasey

Missing Matthew..

Wow, ok so today is just one of those days that I really miss Matthew! And yes people I realize I just saw him this weekend and will get to see him on Saturday for a whole week but sometimes you just miss having your friend by your side. I miss having him crack jokes that make me roll my eyes and I even miss him purposefully trying to get on my nerves (in a funny way) because he likes to see me flustered. I miss everything about him and wish that May would hurry up and get here!

On a happier note, this is my last week to teach my GED classes, not that they have been bad but I will save a lot of gas not having to travel to Mt. Pleasant two days a week.

Also on an even more exciting note I was finally able to buy part of my bridesmaid's gifts and have a very good idea for what I'm going to give for guest favors! (Matthew, Kelly, Casey, Mom, Jess, Katie, Audra, Kadie..etc...sorry guys but I'll probably need your help) :)

Trying to Stay Positive,
Kasey

Wedding Planning

Planning a Wedding, not just any wedding but my own still seems to throw me for a loop. It seems crazy that after almost four years of dating Matthew and I are FINALLY getting to officially plan our wedding without rolling of eyes and sighs of un-understanding people. (Yes we realize, we're unique)

Prior to the beginning of the hard core planning I really didn't think that there was that much to really do...boy was I wrong. Although I have to admit that some of the hardest parts of the wedding planning are already coming together.

• Wedding Dress is ordered.
• Venue is set. (Both Reception and Ceremony)
• Photography is set. (Thanks to Kara Mercer)
• Music has been decided.
• Invitations are decided on.

Ok so maybe I'm being a little too optimistic...I still have a lot to do. I've been trying to start buying my Bridesmaid's gifts which I've already decided on. I now just have to buy and order them. (which is hard to do when you are spending half your paycheck on gas)

Still to do:

• Find a Florist
• Find Bridesmaid's dresses
• Find a Veil (I know what I want it to look like, finding it is the problem)
• Find a Caterer
• Rent chairs for ceremony and tables for reception.
• Wedding Cakes (know what I want just have to find someone to make it!)

...and the list goes on and on...what I wouldn't do to still be living in the same town as my Maid of Honor and 3 of my bridesmaids again! I miss being able to run things by them for their help and opinion.

A very busy but not stressed Bride-to-be :)

Working For Money

Wow so I am officially working two jobs now and never realized just how tiring it can be. The jobs themselves are great and aren't stressful or hard but at the end of the week I'm always feeling rather drained. I really enjoy the work I do at the First National Bank here in Winnsboro and would have to say that is my favorite of the two jobs, but I also really enjoy seeing my students at the Adult Education Center find confidence in everyday skills. I think the downfall for the GED classes is that I have to get up extra early in order to drive the 35 to 40 minutes to Mt. Pleasant on Monday and Wednesday. :) I never have been good at getting up early.

Despite now having been working two jobs for 2 weeks I still haven't received my first pay check which I'm trying not to become discouraged about. It amazes me how quickly money rushes out of your pocket when you're paying for your own gas, food, and other necessities.

On a different note I'm getting to go to Lubbock for the weekend! I'm so very excited to give Matthew a HUGE hug! I've really been missing him and it doesn't seem to get easier. So YAY for free airplane tickets and a day off on Monday!

:) Keep this working girl in your prayers!

Whole New World

Wow, who would have ever imagined me teaching a class?! I must say that it is interesting but difficult due to the fact that I am used to the minds of college students and professors. I am teaching an adult GED class on Monday and Wednesday for the next 4 to 5 weeks. Its really difficult because I keep finding myself expecting too much from my students and asking them to do things above their level. I then feel like a complete idiot trying to explain things that I just take for granted. I never really did realize how much my fantastic high school education and my higher education from Texas Tech meant to me until I found myself trying to explain to adults that are older than me what a fragment is...which by the way you can't do before you explain what a subject and verb are. (Found that one out the hard way)

I am starting to appreciate even my basic skills in Math, Science, Social Studies and Reading. I mean you hear about people who can't read or write but it doesn't fully hit you until you are faced with trying to teach them to read and write. Teaching here has made me determined to do research on learning styles and programs that will make it easier on my students. :)

A very nervous and unsure Ms. Kasey Asbill.

Life As I Know It.

My heart bleeds,
every beat hurting more than the last.

You held it in the palm of your hand,
dropping it at your feet.

Your eyes are so cold,
where have you gone?

You said you would always be there,
where are you now?

You said you would always love me,
only to find out that love has conditions.

I scream for you,
you don't turn around.

I need you,
you don't want me.

My heart bleeds,
every beat hurting more than the last.

Kasey

You.

Do I know you?
No, I do not know you.

Do I trust you?
No, I do not trust you.

Are you hurting me?
Yes, you are hurting me.

Are you being selfish?
Yes, you are being selfish.

Are you wanted?
Yes, you are wanted.

Can you be forgiven?
Yes, you can be forgiven.

Are you Loved?
Yes, you are desperately loved.

Love,
Kasey

The Flu.

Cough, Cough, gag, cough. Swallow pill, cough, cough. Drink cough syrup, cough, gag, retch. Sniffle, cough, sniffle, blow. Clear throat, cough, sniffle, blow. Lay down, cough, cough, choke. Run to bathroom, gag, gag, cough, heave. Rinse face, blow, blow, cry.

By Kasey Asbill

Descent into madness, or a slight bout of the flu

*Cough Cough Cough*, What in the name? Did I open an envelope with anthrax, perhaps zee Germans are back with the whole mustard gas thing, or is it the massive amount of smoking I did in my youth(Insert joke here, I've only had one cigar in my life, honest)? Oh no, nothing so fun and exciting as that, just the run of the mill sinus infection, or at least for me, Kasey has something much darker and more sinister or so I've been told. Coming of the tail of a momentous occasion, still not quite sure what it was memory kinda comes and goes, it did involve "when stars go blue", anyway right afterwards I lapsed into a semi-coma all Saturday while coming in and out of speeches on Ted.com (check it out!!!) and then Saturday night/Sunday morning I died............what you want more? I was DEAD, or at least very close, but Kasey nursed me back to health, and by nursed I mean told me to stop faking it; however despite her best efforts I survived and am now among the living once again. (Fully living not that creepy zombie state that Kasey is currently in) I would fill you in on Kasey's state, but I always get a kick out of her post so she can tell everyone the full story. Bye for now!

PS- Kasey takes great care of me when I'm sick and when she is sick I want to cry, just so everyone knows I'm a real softy and not some mean guy.

Our Engagement!

As I'm sure alot of you have already figured out, Matthew and I are finally engaged! Not that most of you couldn't already see this coming anyways.

We got engaged on Friday, April 3rd. And boy was it an interesting day. Friday turned out to be one hectic sort of day. I woke up at 8:30 thinking that I was going to miss my class at 9am. (I don't have a class at 9am on Friday) I was getting my morning confused with my Monday, Wednesday mornings in which I have piano at 9 am. The funny thing is that I knew I didn't have my piano class but for some reason I thought my 10 am class started at 9 am. So I rush out the camper and zoomed to campus.

My zooming was promptly crushed by a portly old fellow on a Police Motorcycle. Where upon, he asked me if there was an emergency? I replied no, but that I was trying to get to my class on time. He said, ok, and took my driver's license. Within 5 minutes I was pulling away with a ticket for $190 and a suggestion to take defensive driving. It didn't hit me until I pulled into the church parking lot that I was an entire hour early for my 10 o'clock class. (Did I feel stupid?...YES!)

Now most of you might not know it but Friday night was supposed to be a "Girls Night," with Jessica, Katie, Carolyn and me. I was under the impression that we were having out usual girls night out, dressing up, going to eat, and maybe bowling. But no...Matthew called Jessica because of course my phone doesn't work (go figure) and tells her he sprained his ankle again! We need to go pick him up and he is at memorial circle.

Kasey's Reaction: "WHAT?! I bet he was doing something stupid again like trying to kick a door closed! Geez, I'm really sorry guys that this is ruining our girls night.

So we get in the car in short dresses and heels and rush over to Memorial Circle on campus to rescue my somewhat "clumsy" boyfriend. Or so I thought...

Upon arriving at Memorial Circle I can somewhat see Matthew as we walk up the sidewalk and my first thing to say is "he sure doesn't look very hurt!" The closer we get I realize that he is all dressed up. It then starts dawning on me that "Oh my goodness he might propose!" When we finally get to the entrance of the circle Matthew cues Thomas who was crouching behind the wall and our first song to ever dance to came on, "When the Stars Go Blue."

Matthew and I are standing in the middle of the circle now, where he tells me he loves me, and proceeds to get down on his knee. I immediately start tearing up and can barely see him by the time he asks me to marry him, where upon I answer yes by nodding my head due to the fact that I could barely speak for fear of bawling. We then kissed and had lots of pictures taken!

It was a wonderful and magical night! My ring is beautiful thanks to my fiancee who knows me well and I can't wait until I can post my pictures up on here! I won't be able to until probably next week due to the fact that I have the flu right now and also that I'm heading to Winnsboro today.

I love you all and I just wanted to thank my girlfriends, Jess, Katie, and Caroyln for making that such a special night for me! Thomas thanks for helping Matthew out and being there for him, you truly are a wondeful friend to the both of us. You 4 are the best friends we could ever ask for!

Love,
Kasey

Reading, Writing, and Blogging?

Well, its nice to see that I have an adoring public. In case you haven't already figured it out, this is Matthew staging a Coup and taking control of the blog waves once more. Mwahahahaha. Just to let everyone in on my "high flying" lifestyle upon which I indulge, I am now a management major in the Rawls College of Business and I am still slated to graduate in May of 2010, so to all my listeners (or are they readers, yeah I think readers, but I digress) mark off that date! Just kidding if you don't want to come no skin off my back(man that is a heinous saying, skin off of back, that just weird,oops wandering again...). Anyway on a serious note, just to let everyone know this is by far my least favorite semester at Tech. I say this for multiple reasons, but mainly due to the fact that I jut can't seem to get in gear, none of my classes excite me and I am not a person who can sit through something I'm not interested in and do well, also I'm sure that there is a certain amount of trepidation in my impending lack of friends (mainly Kasey, Jess, and Robert) to keep my company(WAIT, whats that Kasey's leaving, OH NO the heavens have rend asunder and locust populate the land and up is down, down is up, dogs living harmony with cats, cats living in harmony with anyone.....what shall I do?...but I digress) however I still have Katie and Thomas, or as they shall henceforth be known as ThomKat (pronounced Tomcat) and my books. Speaking of books, and this might be why I never get anything done, I am currently reading...a lot, I don't want to bore anyone with my selections (I say this because Kasey rolls her eyes every time I read off a title) so if your curious just ask in the comment section. On a summery note, I will be here over the summer working and taking summer classes and the best part is two of them are history courses, including History of the Italian Mafia taught by my favorite professor. So that about wraps up my part of the blog, if you wish to know more just FB me or leave me a comment. Bye for now.

Oh and by the way I think that Kelly and Casey Bryan need a facebook account, just a thought...

Last Month!

O.K. People! So this is my last month at Tech Tech University and I am happy to say that I am ready to embark on the next phase of my life! My three years at Tech have been insightful to say the least! I've made friends and some I'm sad to say I only made this semester making me wish I would have had more time with them! I have also learned from these three years at Tech that life throws you curve balls, and sometimes you connect and other times you strike out. I've made my fair share of hits but have also had my share of strike outs. Either way I feel that I have learned some very important things about life, love, and friendship.

Life:

• It's not always fair.
• Money goes quickly.
• School is not fun but necessary.
• Don't rush life is shorter than you think!

Love:

• Humility is key!
• When you're wrong admit it.
• Forgive.
• Arguing is part of being in a relationship (its how you handle it that makes the difference.)
• Don't take it for granted.

Friends:

• Loyalty is a must.
• Disagreeing is part of it.
• Trust is earned.
• True friends are few and far between.
• Hold tight to them.

How Did I Manage This?!?!

Ok so some how I managed to lock myself inside my camper this morning. And yes I truly do mean locked in, cant' get out, banging on the door locked it! And before any of you try and tell me, uh Kasey you have to unlock the door first, well I did or tried. It's stuck, not budging stuck! So I am currently using the back door in which I had to move all boxes (which were quite a few) from in front of it first. Quite a story, huh!? Well you didn't hear the best part...

Some how, during all this I had forgotten about using the back door until I had gotten myself into a frenzy and experienced what I assumed was a panic attack (heart racing, couldn't breathe, head between the legs type of thing). Sounds crazy huh?! I've always known that I'm somewhat closterphobic but I didn't realize that thinking I was trapped inside a camper would set me off quite so fast. I literally was crying before I could calm myself down enough to seriously contemplate alternative ways of escaping the camper that was seeming to shrink every second I was in it.

So now my closet/storage room is in shambles due to my hasty removal of all objects blocking my only means of escape. But, whew, I made it out alive! :)

One thing I did learn from all this, is that if Matthew's phobia of spiders is anything close to my phobia of tight spaces and being trapped then I will never, ever, tease him again about a spider being on his back or near him. (I know a little spiteful :), but what can I say I've a little of mom's evilness in me.)

P.s. Kelly I met a Grandmother today who's grandchildren called her "TooToo," HAHA, Grandma TooToo, I can just see it now! (hehe)

Another Day at Home

Well I must confess, I have literally been bored out of my mind the last two days. Work has called me both yesterday and today to tell me not to come in due to our Manager, George, cutting hours. Blah. As much as I despise going to work some days I still rely on it for money. This is definitely going to put a dent in my next pay check. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that tomorrow he won't call me and tell me not to come in again, with me going out of town next week and unable to work I would be up a creek without a paddle.

On top of work not being a possibly to pass the time alot of my classes have been canceled over this last week. It seems that many of my professors are as excited about starting their Spring Break as much as we students are. Today I found out that all my classes for this Friday have all been canceled except for my last class, go figure. My last class is Art Appreciation and starts at 4pm. Blah, a long day of waiting just to turn in one stinking 3 page paper that truly has been about the easiest assignment I've had all year, not taking into account the actual time it requires to write the paper.

The one good thing I can say about not having work, it sure makes it easier to come home and relax then make myself go work out when you're not about to fall over from exhaustion. I suppose thats pretty much it for now. I'll stay in touch.

Love,
Kasey

Life and All it's Glory

Well people I'm back from my short little break on blogging in hopes that I will be able to blog about the positive aspects of my life.

I feel that it is so important for people to always try to look on the bright side of things/situations. I must say that in the past couple of weeks it has been very easy for me to see that silver lining, if not just a little difficult to keep my thoughts from returning back to those more darker parts of the cloud every once in awhile. So I took a step back from my blogging in order to give myself some time to remember what I had vowed never to do on this blog, which would be to pour my negative feelings onto my readers. There are too many good things in this world to waste my time and breathe on the negative ones.

So I guess I'll start by filling you in on the biggest changes in my life since the last time that I've blogged.

As most of you already know, I moved out of the 48th Street House last Monday, but what some of you might not know is that I am now living in my parent's, perfect for one, RV camper on Loop 289. At first I was a little dubious about my current accommodations but have grown to love the cute little camper with it's AMAZINGLY soft bed. (thanks to one of those thicker than thick memory foam mattresses.) My little camper has given me a place in which I can relax, be myself, and completely let go of the stresses of the day. I've found that I am able to concentrate more on school now and studying has become much easier with the lack of stress at the place I call home.

As for other aspects of camper life, such as for food, Matthew and I have had to become creative in the way we shop for groceries. We typically cook our dinner together seeing as it is the only time in which we see each other during the week, so in the small confines of my kitchen we have had to learn to work together in preparing our dinner. I have to admit, it's become one of my favorite parts of the evening, it's an adventure all on it's own.

We've also had to learn to do without TV, instead we have started having movie nights. (Movie, popcorn, candy..etc.) Matthew and I have tried taking turns picking out movies for Movie Night but have many times ended up with 2 movies. (What can I say, we're hard headed) I must admit; however, Matthew has had a better run in picking the good movies.

Overall I have to admit that moving into camper has been the best move I'm made since deciding to live with my BFF, Jessica. (Oh the good days!) The only things I can say that I miss about living in the house were getting to see Katie everyday, and having my girls with me. But to rectify the first situation, Katie and I are going to try and resume our workout together. As for the girls, they are visiting Grandma and Papa for the next 2 months. My Mom and Dad have offered to watch the girls despite their busy schedules due to the lack of space in the camper, and from what I've heard, are becoming quite spoiled.

Despite this past week being full of deep, dark, down times, it was also filled with some of the best and brightest times of my college career. One such time was the Monday night that I moved out of 48th Street House. After getting off work my parents took all of my friends and I (Matthew, Jessica, Katie, Thomas, and Robert) out to eat at Joe's Crab Shack. We had an amazing time and were the last people to leave the restaurant. I think I laughed more that night than I had in weeks. (Mom and her brain freeze, and Dad and his patron) It was just so good to see my parents and have their support and my friends support in a time that I needed them most. I feel that in the past week I have become closer to my parent's and my friends and it makes me realize that I'm such a lucky person to have people who not only believe in me but who I believe in.

Another amazing night was this past Friday night. Jessica, Matthew, Katie, Thomas, and I had an all nighter. (Kevin, Kara and Carolyn were also there but left around 3.) A few of us fell asleep more than others(*cough* Matthew). Haha I was lucky, I managed to grab the couch somewhere around 4 in the morning (while others tried to sleep on the floor). We had so much fun, just hanging out and playing games. The next morning around 9:30 after a very long night we all went to Ihop and tried to stay awake while waiting for our food. I keep trying to keep myself from thinking about the fact that this will be the last semester that we're all going to be together like this. It's bittersweet. But until graduation day we all are trying to get together as much as possible.

Sunday Night was another fun experience. Matthew and I went over to Jess's Apt. to cook pork chops with my red wine sauce. Jess and I did most of the cooking, lol while Matthew kept inquiring when it would be ready. We then watched Big Love, which I have to admit is addicting if only for it's dysfunctional view on life. I think we left Jess's house sometime after 12.

As you can tell Matthew and I have been staying busy and having fun in healthy ways. I have to admit sometimes I'm jealous of Matthew for still having one more year left here at Texas Tech. I will miss all the things that I have become accustom to such as being able to get just about anywhere in town in about 15 minutes. (Mall, restaurants, work, etc..) But I am also glad to be going home for a year and being able to be with my parents before moving out for good and moving to gosh knows where. Right now Matthew and I are relying on God to show us the direction in which he wants us to go. Many changes are in our future, some very good, some scary, and some unknown.

I suppose I've done a pretty good job at filling you in for now, but I'll have to go back and post some pictures from before this past week. I'll try to keep in touch better over the next couple of months.

Love,
Kasey

Scuba Mask..Not Only for Water Use.

Location: Hobby Lobby
Time: 11:43 am
Date: Thursday 5, 2009
Department: Fabrics
Person in Question: Little Boy
Description: Blue shorts, Red shirt, Brown Hair, and Scuba Mask.

True Friends

I just want to say that when you find those friends that love you no matter what, who will forgive you even when you've been anything but nice, and have the guts to tell you to shutup or to think about both sides, you've found something special. I have found that in my two best friends Jess and Katie and I just want to say thank you to you guys for being who you are and being willing to deal with my not always easy to deal with personality :). You guys are great and I love you!

Love,
Kasey

Getting a TV

Well everybody, Matthew and I have finally given in and are going to get a TV for my room at the house. Granted it will not be as big as the one we were hoping for but it will be decent and big enough to play xbox on. We had planned on getting it right before we were married but think that now is a very good time to get it. If you have any suggestions on the type we should get please let us know.

Kasey

Feeling Accomplished!

Well guys I have finally finished my parasitology notebook and taken my Art Appreciation test and am finally feeling like I've accomplished something! My art test went well and I feel that I did at least "Grade A" studying. As for my parasitology notebook I stayed up until around 1:30 am working on it in order to get it done for today. I then woke up at 7am this morning and worked another hour and 20 minutes to finish last minute details after not falling asleep until around 2:00 am. So I'm tired today but happy I'm done with my homework.

On top of my school work I have to say that I was able to clean my room very nicely! When you're always going so fast you forget how nice it is to have a clean room.

As for Matthew he has his second interview today at 2:30 with the Edward Jones Company. We are very excited about it and are praying that he gets this very sought after internship this summer in St. Louis, Missouri. And I must say that he looks very handsome in his new suit with his "power colored" shirst and ties. I'll try and get a picture for you guys when he gets ready to leave.

I know this blog is kind of lacking my normally blog personality but for reasons I truly don't know I'm feeling a little flat today. This past week has been pretty stressful with us putting the 48th Street House on the market and having to really get down and clean the house on top of school and work. But I do feel accomplished in all that has gotten done this week if not just a little tired from it all.

Love you all,
Kasey

Waiting For May 9th!

FREEDOM!!! I can see it!

To Change or Not to Change

That truly is the question. When do we decide that changing is what we need to do and when do we sit tight and hold on to what we are?! Have you ever gotten to the point where you feel unhappy with yourself and how you are? And how do you know if its you truly being unhappy with yourself or if it's just the world telling you that you shouldn't be the way you are and you being unhappy because of all the pressure?

I hate admitting I have qualities about myself that I need to change, just like I hate admitting I'm wrong. I also hate being embarrassed and feel that way when someone points out one of my many flaws. I have trouble with taking advice from people about my flaws and tend to get angry. As most of my family and friends know, I am typically a rather confident person, but not this week, this week is one of those weeks in which my confidence has taken a vacation and I'm struggling to be happy with myself. This is one of those weeks in which I've been getting angry often and most of the time at the people I love the most. This is one of those weeks in which I can't let things go, especially offered help which is received as critizism when it was not meant to be. Facing your flaws I've found is not easy to swallow and not something I'm very good at. This is one of those weeks I think I need to learn a little humility. This week I feel more than ever I need to be closer to God.

I feel like this week God could not have gotten my attention any better than if he had hit me upside the head with a hammer.

Do Nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Philippians 2:3-4

Your prayers would be very welcome.

Thoughtfully,
Kasey Asbill

Wondering How People Do It?!

Do you ever see someone you know or just some random person and just wonder, "How do they do it?!," "How do they live like that?" I've been finding myself doing that alot lately. I find myself thinking that they could make their life so much more simple, "if only" they would do this, or "if only" they would do that. Then I start thinking, who am I to tell them that their way of doing things is not very effective. But even still it bugs the heck out of me to watch them using a less effective way of doing things (I'm trying not to let it bother me too much, gets hard sometimes. In which I try to remember some of the advice I listed below.) Here are a few of the things I would have advised others to try in the past week: (You'd be surprise at the interesting convos I hear while working out and working.)

• Say what you really mean, stop trying to make people guess what you really mean. Life can be so much more simple if you just say what you want instead of beating around the bush and expecting people to get what you truly mean by saying things such as "I want to if you want to," or "only if you want to," or "yeah sure that's OK (when its not really)." Being so coy in responses only wastes breathe and time in which you could be doing what you truly want to be doing. It also cuts down on misunderstandings and fights that result from those misunderstandings. And when a misunderstanding occurs stop trying to hide when you're upset by saying "No I fine (obviously not)," this only wastes time in which you can be fixing the misunderstanding and getting back to your normally happy selves.
• Try taking a deep breath every once in awhile. Calm those nerves and take a step back and really look at the situation. Is what you're sitting there freaking out about really that big a deal?! Is is life altering? If this freak-out involves another person ask yourself, "Is this a me-problem?" A me-problem is a problem in which you have an issue with someone or a decision or action of someone else in which you really don't have a say in but make a big deal about anyways. First off, you have no control over the other person's actions or what they want to do, so give it up. If that person is 18 years or older they can make their own decision and choices, socially, criminally, sexually, monetarily and personally. Don't waste your time and your peace of mind over something and someone you don't have control over. (Thats why I'm blogging about this instead of driving myself nuts trying to make them change their ways.)
• Try being confident in yourself. Try something new and out of your comfort zone once in awhile. Most of the time you will find yourself pleasantly surprised. So let loose and stop worrying so much about embarrassing yourself so much. Besides most people don't see you the way in which you see yourself. You are and always will be your hardest critic. When it comes to trying new things, how can you know if you like it or not if your not willing to give it your all but hold back and purposefully sabotage yourself by not really trying. Most people will think more critically of you for not really trying then if you truly tried and messed up. Nobody likes a quiter. When it comes to yourself and your own body image try asking yourself, "How often do I really realize what I'm upset about on other people." Chances are you aren't nearlly as critical of others as you are of yourself.

I guess you could somewhat call this a venting blog, and I really try not to do that too often. I just felt that if even one person got something from this then it would be worth it. I just hate seeing people stress themselves over issues like what are listed above because it can make life so much harder.

Love,

Kasey

Random Pictures

Valentine's Converse and Barne's and Noble gift card given to me by Matthew!

Matthew dressing nice for work! He looks so handsome!




A muddy Alex and her Squirrel squeaky toy!

My new converse! I love them!




Alex and Archer's toy before it's demise!

She's so cute!

Avenue Q

LOL I just have to let everyone know that the Avenue Q Stage/Puppet Group is absolutely HILARIOUS! If you haven't ever seen or listened to one of their skits you must!

I'm back and ready to TYPE!

Lol hey guys! Thanks to my amazing brother-in-law I am finally back in action and on the Internet again! I must say that until you are cut off from the Internet world you don't realize how vital it is as part of your life.

I wanted to blog tonight to fill everyone in with the small things that have been going on in the fun life of Matthew and Kasey!

First and foremost, just to give some of you peace of mind, Zappa has had no further seizures and seems to be doing fine. This is huge due to the fact that when or if she has another one we will have to start her on medication that can cause her to become even more lethargic then she already is. (For those of you who know her, you already know that could be interesting for a lack of better words.) The medication can also cause her to think that she is hungry all the time, so we are thankful for small blessings that she has not shown any more signs of seizures.

In the school world I can definitely brag a little considering I made a 91 on my first medical terminology test, an 86 on my first Art Appreciation test (scary!) and an A on my first American Sign Language test (numerical grade not yet known). So yay for me!!! For my parasitology class we only have a midterm and a final so I haven't and won't take one of those for a couple more weeks. Oo and another cool thing is that I can now play my first song on the piano! It's amazing but learning to read music is not near as hard as I thought it would be. (I have to confess that even in band I never really learned to read music, I memorized the fingerings and sound that went with each note but never knew what note was which letter.) I am now truly learning to read the music and am loving it!!! I wish I would have taken one of these classes earlier! My piano professor has put me on a fast track to learning piano because she could tell that I was ahead of my classmates when it came to knowing about reading music. (knowing beats, rhythm etc.)

As for Matthew, I must say that I am extremely proud of him! He is currently getting ready go to the job fair in which he will interview for internships. We are particularly hoping for a paying internship in Missouri. A couple of weeks ago we went to Men's Warehouse and bought 2 new designer suits. His interview is on the 11th and we are picking the suit he will wear for the interview on the 10th (due to alterations)...lol yea we know, cutting it a little close! We also bought 4 new shirts for his suits. That in it's self brings to mind a story.

When we walked into the store we were initially thinking we would pick out a few shirt colors that we thought looked best on Matthew, sounds simple right?! Lol, shows how little we know about the business world! Upon walking into Men's Warehouse we are greeted by a woman representative, who asks us what we are looking for. We tell her that we are looking for dress shirts. She then measures Matthew's ever growing shoulders and then proceeds to take us to the dress shirt section. Immediately we start oo'ing and ah'ing over the colors that we like best. The representative then asks us, "So what is the occasion?" We simultaneously respond, "Interview." The lady then asks, "What profession?" again we reply, "business." She then replies, "Your shirt choices will need to be either White or Blue." We then go on to learn that those are considered "Power Colors"...ooo how close we were to a big mistake. When she then realizes that we had never heard of that rule she also informed us on the tie color rule to business interviews as well. Tie "Power Colors" are considered to be Red and Blue I believe. (I know red is right, I can't say I'm 100% correct on the blue.) So at the end of our shopping spree, we came away with not only very valuable clothing but very valuable business information. I can't help but think what colors we would have picked out had that lady not helped us. (I think I was leaning towards lavendar and yellow shirts, which I must say we did get but not for the interview.)

On another note I can happily say or well shout to the world....I AM NOW A SIZE 8!!! WOOHOO! I've been able to fit in a size 8 but as most of you know I don't like my jeans to be tight, so I can now comfortably fit into a size 8 jeans, and not just any jeans but skinny jeans!!! Yes, I bought my first pair of skinny jeans and am starting to think that I like the look of them on myself. I'll have to post a picture of me in them along with the couple of new shirts I bought to go with them.

As for the not so happy parts of my life, I am having to get my wisdom teeth pulled along with a deep cleaning on my teeth that takes up to 2 hours. Yuck! However, there is always something good that comes from most bad situations, mine is that I get to get the stupid bar off the back of my bottom teeth! SWEET! (By the way Mom, I'll send you the info for the dentist tomorrow, you'll want to call them soon though.)

Well I think I've pretty much filled most parts of our story in over the last couple of weeks. I'll definitely keep you guys better updated now that I have my computer back!

Love You All,
Kasey

Pictures..better late then never!

As alot of you know my parents just recently bought a new house! (Totally amazing!) The weekend that they closed on the house Kelly, Casey, Josh, Rachel, Matthew and I all went to help them with moving their things in and to help with the demolition of the used to be apartment! Here are some great pictures of the demolition part!

Matthew and his huge hammers! (Boy did he get carried away!)

This is one of my FAVORITE pictures! Lol, demolition to the boys was like taking a kid to a candy shop and telling them they could have and do whatever they wanted!

Rachel and Kelly with the crow bars! Wow was that scarey!

This goes where?!?!

Evidently it takes 3 guys to figure out how to take that cabinet apart!

Well hope you enjoy the photos! By the way if I haven't already mentioned, my computer is currently not connecting to the internet here at 48th house and hasn't since we got back from this trip so that's why I haven't been able to blog very much! The weekends are about the only time that I can get Matthew's computer in order to blog! So bare with me, we are trying to get my computer re-connected to the internet here!

Love,

Kasey

Living With Epilepsy

As most of you know, this morning was quite eventful and not in a very good way. This morning I woke up to Zappa having a seizure. After taking her to the vet Matthew and I were informed that she may possibly have epilepsy. The vet let us know that this could be a one time seizure but it could also start happening more often. We realize that Zappa to most people would only be seen as a dog, a pet, but for us she is part of our family and we would appreciate your prayers if not for her then for Matthew's and mine peace of mind. Thinking about leaving her by herself while we are at work and school has both Matthew and I nervous and afraid we won't be here for her. So for now we're waiting and hoping for the best. We'll try and keep you guys informed.

Love,
Kasey

Life and All it's Messes!

Sorry about not blogging for awhile everyone! As some of you might already know, my computer is not connecting to the internet here at 48th House. I've tried everything I can think of to fix it and even called my Brother-in-law but it's still a no-go! So at the moment I'm using Katie Huff's computer to write a short blog letting you know all thats happening.

One new thing in my life right now is that I have recently been moved from the Crafts department at Hobby Lobby to the Fabrics department!! WooHoo! So much more fun! lol yes I know, what could be so fun about it...well for starters: Time goes by faster, I get to interact alot more with people, and get to learn more about fabrics and sewing! Fun Fun! So work is going great along with school. I've had my first test in Medical Terminology and think I did really well!

Matthew and I have finally gotten back in to a regular workout routine and I am loving it! Katie H. has been going with me and letting me help her workout. We are running a mile every Monday, Wednesday, Fridays, and doing arms. On Tuesday, Thursdays we are doing legs and 2 hours of racquetball with Matthew, Katie, Jessica and Me! Tuesday Thursdays are by far my favorite days of the week!

In other areas of my life I'm just trying to hold my head up high, and turn the other cheek. It's hard sometimes to remember to do that when someone is attacking you without provocation. Sometimes I feel like my life is under the scrutiny of others, I just keep reminding myself that as long as I am happy with my life and the direction it's going then no one else's opinion matters. Besides I only have one more semester until I can go home and start planning my wedding! (lol yeah I know..still need the ring).

Patiently (ever-so-slightly impatiently) Waiting!

Love You Guys,
Kasey

You have also given me the shield of Your salvation,
And Your gentleness makes me great.
You Enlarge my steps under me,
And my feet have not slipped.

Psalms: 18:35-36

I'm Back!

Hey Guys, this is Kasey speaking and I'm back and ready to keep you people updated! So as most of you know classes at Texas Tech have resumed and we're heading into our second week of classes! Meaning that this week was my last, first week at Texas Tech, which brings me both joy and a little saddness. I can't even tell you how excited I am to be moving onto the next stage of my life but at the same time I am just a little scared to leave all that I have found here in Lubbock. These past 3 years have brought me happiness, pain, tears, anxiety, friendships, patience (well more than I had to start with), and an overall sense of comfort in who and what I've become.

This semester has started out smoothly and I'm very excited about my classes. I have to admitt that I was a little dubious about a few of them at first. The first day of class started with my keyboarding class (that is piano). I was so nervous that I would be in the only one in the class that didn't have any previous experience (not counting when I was too little to remember), however, I came to find out that out of the seven students in my class all but one had no previous experiences in piano. (THANK GOODNESS!) My second class of the day was Parasitology, yes I know, it sounds well frankly a little scary. Well see that's what I was thinking as well. However, I must say...I LOVE IT, minus the fact that my professor wants us to pick up a road killed animal and bring it to class. (My animal heart is bleeding!) My professor is a no nonsense but very animated and humorous person. Next comes my medical terminology class, yes I know boring! The wonderful thing about this class is that I don't have to go to class except for test days! WOOHOO! I then have my ASL 4 class. Very exciting! And last but not least is my Art Appreciation class, most of you at this point are probably grimacing, gagging or trying to block out your own horrible memories of art appreciation, but I am truly excited about this class. My professor is amazing! He's not some stuffy old dirt bag who drones on and on and on about art, he truly loves his job and has a way of making people want to learn about art! So overall I must say that this last semester at Texas Tech should be wonderful!!!

Wish me luck and I'll keep you updated!

Love,
Kasey